Finding My Roots

It's been two months of pure bliss (in misery). Only in misery because the weather's been so cold. But a bliss because I've been able to do what I love the most. Eat, eat, eat, and read, read, read. I've been hibernating for the last two months, and loving every minute of it. It's the Cancer in me, I think. I love to retreat & hide from the world for a bit because I need to recoup for the warm weather when the crazy Monkey side in me comes out to play. (I was born in the year of the monkey.)

I've also reconnected with my family & my Korean roots, and am falling in love with all these hot Korean actors. My Korean is getting really good with all the Korean shows I'm watching, and even the content of my fridge is slowly changing to resemble my parents'. I've even started corresponding more with friends and family back in Seoul, and visiting LA frequently to see Mom & Dad.

I don't know what it all means, but I think I'm finally wanting to balance the two cultures for the first time in my life, it seems. The Korean & American cultures are so different in so many ways, (it's no wonder I've always been in constant battle with my folks) yet I want to figure out a way to mesh the two somehow.

I've always gone in far extremes, such as moving back to Korea in my early twenties to become "Korean", only to realize I couldn't live in that society after growing up in the States. There were too many rules: who to associate with (social class), who to speak & not speak to in a honorary form, what I could & not do having been born a female...seriously, too many archaic things to list all here. Plus I got tired of people asking where I was from.

Then of course there were periods in my life where I was called a banana because I was so "white", whatever that means. Just because I hung out with white folks, I was excluded by the Koreans. It's like no matter where I went, people still asked me where I was from. So I ended up just surrounding myself with people whom I could relate to the most, and through circumstances, I've become virtually the only non-white person in a group of white friends.

Not that color matters, but there's definitely something to be said about having come from such a strong culture. I think that's why so many people do stay in their own groups. Not just race, but even religion, like the Mormons here. It's like you understand each other without having to explain. Anyway, I hear there are many Koreans in SLC. Perhaps I should start hanging out at the Korean market to bring some Koreans into my life. It might be fun to mix up the race a little in my group of friends, you know, balance it out a bit so it's not all white (and me).

My friends all love Asian food (especially Chris)...don't know why we don't have more Asian friends in our group so we can eat some more homemade Asian food like we did Friday night. (I know, my stories always do come back to food.) The Thai food we had at Jessica's birthday party was to die for. Following a recipe is never the same as the real stuff made by someone from that culture.

(What do you say, Chris...we should go hang out on the West side & meet some Southeast Asians.)